The Past, Miss Piggy, Present

Last year during the holiday season I blogged about familicide. Specifically, family annihilators and the psychology behind their murderous acts. In that post I also included some news that shook the foundation on which I stood, the news of a biological sister.

My mother’s been gone for 34 years (she passed when I was a teenager). To learn she held this secret from me and my brother was almost too much to bear. But with time comes understanding. She was an amazing woman who battled several bouts of cancer, and never once complained. When she lost the love her life in her forties, she started a support group for widows and widowers. She healed by helping others.

Mom was also fiercely protective. To share the story of how she got pregnant and why she gave the baby up for adoption might have pushed me and my brother to the point of no return. As it was, we dealt with a lot of death in our childhood. Too much death.

Liz, my sister, has many of the same qualities. She’s also a research nut like me. One of the coolest things she discovered about Mom was her dream of becoming a writer. And yesterday, Liz found poetic classified ads written by our brilliant mother, published in 1959 newspapers.

Here’s your chance to shine, Mom! Merry Christmas. xoxox

JUST A REMINDER

For typing, comptometer, or keypunch, too.

If you haven’t called us let’s hear from YOU!

If you’re working now, and you don’t want to shirk,

Just call us—and you could come in after work.

Please call Marcia at CHarlestown 2-0600

Phone numbers had such literary charm back then, didn’t they?

PSSSST!

We have inside information on a job that’s actually FUN! Convenient location…4:45 quitting time. . . merit increases . . . congenial co-workers . . . recreational activities . . . all the ingredients for pleasant, satisfying work. Outstanding operators— comptometer, keypunch & graphotype . . . investigate the situation at

H.P. HOOD & SONS

P.S. Call CH 2-0600 . . . ask for Marcia

I don’t know how well these classified ads worked, but they sure are creative!

THIS IS A POEM?

What word except maybe barometer

Could possibly rhyme with comptometer?

But comp operators we need

Who’ve developed a good rate of speed.

So this poem may not be too pretty

But please call up Marcia or Smitty!

 

This last one’s my favorite.

TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF?

Dear CLERK TYPIST,

Our hours are good—

Our location is handy—

The work is a pleasure—

The people just dandy.

We’re growing and growing

You should really be here.

So come in and see us

For your Happy New Year.

Thanks for indulging me. 🙂

Miss Piggy

For the last four or five years we’ve lived without a fur baby. Hence my obsession with all the wildlife in my yard. 😉 I’ve been dropping hints for over a year, but Bob wasn’t thrilled with the idea. Losing our last fur baby hit him hard, and he never wanted to feel that pain again. I get it, I do, but my argument’s been: Isn’t it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

Although he agreed, he worried we’d have to forfeit our freedom. Again, I understood, but my heart ached for a fur baby. I’m a nurturer. I’m happiest when I’m mothering a little one with fur or feathers.

Mom passed on her love of animals to all three of her children.

My sister has a farm full of horses, mini-horses, chickens, dogs, and over 200 ducks! Liz has won so many blue ribbons and trophies in various animal events, she’s running out of wall space.

When my brother isn’t working as an electrical engineer, he’s a bigwig in the Schützen world, with umpteen national and international champion titles. Police departments buy puppies from his champion bloodline. He also teaches how to train K9 cops.

See? Loving animals is engrained in our DNA.

At my urging, “The Kid” bought a guinea pig for our granddaughter, Scarlet. Which gave me the perfect opportunity to flash Bo Norman’s picture at Bob. “Isn’t he adorable?”

“Yep. Cute.”

I had The Kid send more pics.

“Aww, look at Bo Norman. He’s such a sweet baby. Isn’t he?”

“Okay, yes. He’s adorable.”

I almost had him convinced, but not quite. Time to bring out the big guns. While FaceTiming with The Kid, I said, “What’s Bo Norman doin’?”

Right on cue, The Kid zoomed in on Bo Norman, and I could almost hear Bob’s heart crack open. Bam! Mission accomplished.

That was last Sunday. Two days later, on Tuesday after lunch Bob said, “C’mon, let’s take a ride.”

“Where?”

“To adopt a fur baby.”

“Really?” happy dance “OMG!” happy dance “Yay!” happy dance

Without further ado, please welcome Miss Piggy!

Look at that face. She’s just as sweet inside as out.

I hadn’t had a guinea pig since childhood, so I researched everything I could find about their needs, language, health, diet, etc. A thunderbolt shot through me when I learned a devastating fact.

Immediately, I called The Kid. “Bo Norman needs a buddy ASAP.”

“What? Why?”

“Guinea pigs can die of loneliness, and you guys aren’t home during the day.”

“Crap.” He’s a softie like his dad. “Okay, I’m on it. What about Miss Piggy?”

“Don’t worry about Miss Piggy. I’ve got a plan.”

Before I could put that plan into motion, I totally spaced an appointment to replace the driver’s side mirror and backup sensor on our truck. Our temporary inspection sticker was about to expire, so we couldn’t reschedule. Last Friday was also our anniversary, not that we could do much this year (damn virus), so I didn’t have the heart to tell Bob to go alone. I tried explaining this to Miss Piggy, but it didn’t go over well.

When we returned a few hours later, Miss Piggy copped an immediate ‘tude. She wouldn’t even look at me. No matter how much I begged for forgiveness, her anger morphed into an unmistakable sadness, like I’d broken our bond. It killed me. I tried giving her treats, her favorite foods, new toys, play time with Mommy and constant cuddles.

Nothing worked.

Friday night I barely slept. On Saturday, I got up at 3 a.m. to dote on Miss Piggy some more. All day I spent talking to her, loving her, but the sadness never left her little face.

When Bob came in the door for lunch I was in full-blown panic mode, exhausted, crying, desperate to repair my bond with Miss Piggy.

“What’s wrong?” Bob tucked me against his chest. “Did something happen?”

“Miss Piggy…she doesn’t trust me not to leave again.” My watery gaze crawled up to his. “As much as I hate to admit this, Mommy isn’t enough. Guinea pigs are social animals. They need each other.”

“What are you sayin’?”

“She needs a piggy pal.”

“What kind of parents would we be if we let Miss Piggy stay sad, huh?”

A smart wife leads her husband to the right conclusion. “The worst parents ever.”

“Hmm. Hey, how ’bout a sibling? Call and see if they still have one of her sisters. It’s been less than a week. Maybe they didn’t find homes for them yet.”

Bingo. “Great idea. Are you sure?”

“You know as well as I do that you won’t sleep till Miss Piggy’s back to her bubbly self again. So, yeah. Make the call.”

I already had the phone in my hand. “Hi, I adopted a guinea pig earlier in the week. Sue Coletta? Not sure if you remember me.”

“Oh, yes, I remember. Something wrong? Is Miss Piggy okay?”

“She’s pouting. Would you happen to have any of her sisters left?”

“We have one. She’s been so lonely, too.”

“Can you hold her for me? I can pay you over the phone.”

“Not necessary. I want her to go home with you.”

“That’s great! By the way, which one is she?”

“Do you remember the blonde?”

My heart sang. “Not the one with the wooly hair?”

“That’s the one.”

“Oh my God! When we were picking out Miss Piggy, I couldn’t decide between her and the blonde.”

“It’s fate!”

“A Christmas miracle!”

Ninety minutes later, we arrived home with Miss D (short for Denise, the hussy who stole Kermie’s heart LOL). She looks more like Annie Sue (pictured below), but the grandkids lost a dog named Annie. It wouldn’t be right to reuse the name.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After about a thirty-second meet ‘n greet, Miss Piggy ran to me, hearts floating from her eyes. Popcorn, wheek, wheek, popcorn, coo, coo, popcorn, popcorn, popcorn. The reunion turned into the most touching, heartwarming, beautiful display of pure joy I’d ever had the pleasure of witnessing. Once again, tears bubbled to the surface, happiness spilling over the rims of my eyes.

My two fur babies are thriving, happy, and loved. I wish the same for you this holiday season.

Present

Win a 50+ bundle of #CrimeFiction and #Thrillers! Plus, a new e-reader!

Enter to win here: http://ow.ly/Hch450CKOzl The giveaway lasts through December 23rd. 30th. Good luck!

If this year has taught us anything, it’s to cherish our community, our friends and family, and to hug our loved ones a little tighter.

From my family to yours, Happy Holidays.